Build

Rather than resolutions, for several years I participated in the movement that espoused choosing a single word to encapsulate my goals for the coming year.  It has been a while since I have mustered that kind of focus, but this is a year when I feel the need to hone in on what matters to me intently.

Reading Michelle Obama's Becoming this morning, I was struck by a passage she wrote about observing her husband early in their relationship.  He was working with a group of church women in Chicago urging them to band together in their efforts to make positive change.

He was there to convince them that our stories connected us to one another, and through those connections it was possible to harness discontent and convert it to something useful.  Even they, he said--a tiny group inside a small church, in what felt like a forgoteten neighborhood-- could build real political power.

In these words, I found my word.  Build.

The past few years in America and too many other places have been about tearing down.  Tearing down the norms of society and government. Tearing down the illusions of tolerance I thought existed in our country.  Tearing down civil discourse. Tearing down alliances.  Tearing down neighbors and people who don't look, live, or pray just as we do.  An influx of violence and addiction devastatingly tear at the fabric of family.  As a society we lack the patience to fix things and rely too consistently on wiping away altogether what is only in need of repair.

It occurs to me my life is about building.  My professional work is about restoration of lives.  My personal hobbies are about restoration of architecture, community, and beauty.  I long to see things, people made whole.  My motivation is to repair, restore, to build.

This year I resolve to build: my faith, relationships, healthy habits, community, and yes, political power.

TToT: Thankful for Reading

Another year is coming to an end, and I have much to be thankful for.  One of the things that brings joy to my life is my abitilty to read.

I am thankful for my parents who personally modeled reading regularly, for my mom who read to me all the time, for my teachers who helped me crack the code so that I could read the written word for myself.

I am thankful for Goodreads where I can track the books I read each year, interact with other people who love an author or book as much as I do, and discover books I would never know about otherwise.

I am thankful for authors who can captivate me with their stories or even just the way they turn a single phrase. I am thankful they transport me to other places and times where I am encouraged to dream or blessed to escape the daily news.

I am thankful for the Topeka Shawnee County Public Library which is absolutely top shelf...pun intended.

My Ten Favorite Books This Year

Martian

The Bell Jar

The Nightingale

Fareinheit 451

The Girl Before

Eleanor Oliphant is Perfectly Fine

I'd Rather Be Reading

Fed Up

Allegedly 

The Woman Next Door

Ten Things of Thankful

Give Me a Break :TToT

We are just back from Oklahoma City where we attended the wedding of a young man we have known for most of his life.  It was a relaxing weekend in a city that holds special memories for us.  Sometimes you don't realize you need to get away until you've had a chance to do it. I think the moral of the story is if you wait to take a break until you know for sure you need one,  you're likely way overdue.

Ten Things of Thankful

The happy couple

Good friends

Good food

Amazing architecture in a city that prides itself on its colorful and unique neighborhoods

Commonplace Bookstore

Pleasant weather

Safe travel

A chance to unwind

Love

Laughter

The Rich Tapestry

We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color.  --Maya Angelou

A new mural covers the wall of a building across the street from the National Park's Brown v Topeka Board of Education site.  We were given the opportunity to help underwrite the mural project and to paint on it some as well.  The day we painted was memorable for me.  As I worked, my family painted alongside me on the right, and some of my students painted with me on the left.  I have worked with many students through my years in the Topeka Public Schools.  We chose TPS for our own kids' education.  USD 501 does not have a perfect history, but it does have the distinction of being the place where America attempted to right a wrong for a little girl named Linda Brown and all other children who would follow.  Children deserve safe, welcoming, and adequately funded schools in which to learn.  It is a priveledge to do my part to help see they get that in Topeka.

Ten Things of Thankful

A Supreme Court ruling  that stuck down Separate but Equal

The opportunity to work along with others--some I know and love, some who simply share the understanding of the importance of the Brown v Board decision

A tapestry of colors 

My family.  My students.

Beautiful weather that lures you outside

Cooperation that leads to a finished project

Plants

Love and support from the people in my life

Stories--whether the lifestory of a person I know, a book that captures my imagination, family tales that I have heard a million times.  Stories give life meaning.

It's the Little Things

I was puttering in the kitchen a minute ago when a potted plant outside caught my eye.  The pesky squirrels have been busy gathering walnuts from the tree above and ground near by the plant.  In their frenzy they knocked the plant over.  Annoyed at the interruption I headed outside to set it right.  
As I turned back towards the house I was greeted by the darting and hovering of a tiny hummingbird visiting the patch of impatiens blooming at my feet. Had those squirrels, my arch nemisizes and declared enemies, not bumped into the plant and tipped it over I would not have stepped outside at the precise minute the hummingbird arrived.  I stood quietly for a matter of minutes while the hummingbird tasted the sweetness of each pink flower in the bed, flitted on to sample the plants filling the patio, and then headed out to the garden for a dessert of pumpkin blossom nectar before journeying on to brighten someone else's day.
I have to thank those dog-gone squirrels for helping me shift my focus from the annoyances I see in the distance to all the positive little things that surround me in abundance.

Ten Things of Thankful

Nature

Particularly the hummingbird

And the squirrels--though I recognize that they still believe they have squatters' rights to my garden, and we will tangle again

The anticipation of watching tomatoes grow riper on the vine (slowly) each day

The lesson of patience taught in a garden

Blessed rain that has fallen on our parched earth this week

The deep and restful sleep that can be had during a rainstorm

The tinges of orange beginning to show on the pumpkins

A break in the intense heat and humidity

And the delight found in a plant that unexpectedly blooms in hearts

And the Other Is Gold: TToT

My grandma (third from the left) with some of the friends she played softball with back in the day.

I don't know if it is because I have reached a certain age, but recently circumstance has brought old friends back into my life after years of separation.  I didn't part with any of these women on poor terms.  Rather we became busy with the responsibilities of careers and families.  In some cases moves put miles between us.  In each case these were women I love who have enriched my life with laughter, shared tears, and immense wisdom.  

Early this summer a mutual friend told me she had been in touch with our old friend Beth.  Completely in keeping with her fearless nature, Beth had signed on to donate a kidney to a friend.  When it turned out that Beth's kidney also matched a different person awaiting transplant, and another donor matched Beth's friend a whole saga began.  By the time the operations were complete,  the circle had expanded to include ten people giving and receiving kidneys at KU Med Center in Kansas City.  By the point I heard about all this, Beth was recovering nicely and was ready for visitors.  So, we went, our lunch date extending into the night.  Despite not seeing one another for fifteen years,  we picked up the conversation as though it had only paused a minute earlier.

About a week later I ran into another strong woman friend in the grocery store...not my usual grocery, or hers either.  It has been ten years since we have seen one another despite living in the same city.  When we knew each other our daughters danced, and she and I did many volunteer activities together to support the ballet.  Life handed her a series of misfortunes that she certainly didn't deserve, but unsurprisingly she handled them with courage and wisdom.  I am sad that I had no idea she was struggling with these challenges and therefore did nothing to reach out.  I am not surprised, however, to find her on the other side as positive and strong as ever.  Coincidently, she is moving closer to my house now, and we've had the opportunity to enjoy each other's company once again--picking up the thread of our friendship just where we laid it down years ago.

At the beginning of the month I received a letter from a high school friend who I have not seen in over twenty years.  For ages we stayed in touched through long, colorful letters.  Months might go by without hearing from each other when suddenly one of us would find a fat envelope stuffed with page after page of detailed stories of the latest off-the-wall experience one of us had.  The last three or four letters I have sent over the years have missed their intended mark, and I had no idea how to find her.  Out of nowhere a fat envelope stuffed with pages detailing her life fell through the mail slot in my front door one day and my heart soared.

Yesterday, I was at an inservice taking a break from a dry presentation when someone came up behind me and squeezed my shoulder.  I turned around to discover an old friend, the mother of one my daughter's dearest childhood friends.  Again, we hadn't seen each other for a very long time and hadn't gotten to actually visit in even longer.  At the end of the day we got together and talked heart-to-heart for a couple of hours.  What a joy to discover that her little girly-girl has grown up to be a chemical engineer who loves her work.  My heart swelled with pride for her despite having not seen her for many years.

When I was a Brownie (about 1967) we used to sing a song at Scouts that declared Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is silver, but the other is gold.  There is no way that I could fully appreciate the meaning of those words in my Brownie Scout days, but today I know them to be the absolute truth.

My Ten Things of Thankful this week:

Beth (and Gwen for reconnecting us)

Beth's brave contribution to the successful kidney transplants

Charleen

Robin 

Kelly

Old friends

Good memories

Support, love, laughter, tears

That is more than ten, but I am blessed with an abundant life.

Flights of Fancy: Ten Things of Thankful

I was working in the garden today when a fluttering nearby caught my eye.  A beautiful moth the size of my palm flapped and stumbled across the blades of grass. Curious, I moved closer.  The moth moved more frantically, but didn't fly away.  After watching for a bit I was convinced it was injured and unable to fly.  Worried for its safety, I moved it to the patio placing it in a potted plant.  I finished the task I had been working on and hurried back to the patio to see what could be done for the moth only to discover it was gone, apparently of its own free will. 

I thought about that moth long after it was gone.  It's been a while since something so simple has made me stop and take stock this way.  I let my imagination take flight with that moth, wondering, daydreaming, and remembering what it is like to be curious.

That lovely winged creature left me feeling gratitude to a degree I haven't experienced in a while.  Gratitude for the most simple of things.  In the end they are the things that matter the most.

Curiousity

Color

Nature

Surprise

Quiet

Gentleness

Creatures who ask nothing of me

Air

Relaxation

Beauty

Ten Things of Thankful

TToT: Throwback to Summers Past

…back in Kansas,  there is much to be thankful for.

Little kids and their great sense of style.  How can you go wrong with a red glitter visor and patriotic tutu skirt?  Not to mention the confidence to wear it in public!

Rain that brings the temperature out of the “hazardous” range and offers a life saving drink to the outdoor plants.

Watermelon.  Cold, juicy watermelon.

Summer binge reading.  

An example of graciousness: Sunday at church an elderly gentleman mistook a decorative gem stone for a mint, placing it in his mouth and causing concern among the crowd.  I attempted to get him to spit it out for fear he would choke, but only succeeded in confusing and embarrassing him.  Soon after, a lady sitting near us reached for her purse.   Pulling out a tissue she lightly folded it into a square, leaned over to him and said, “When you are finished with what you have in your mouth go ahead and slip it into the tissue.”  Genius, unadulterated genius.  He swished the hard stone around his mouth a couple more times before discretely depositing it into the tissue.  Not only did she stave off a choking disaster, she allowed him to retain his dignity.  Her gracious act was a thing of beauty.

Sun tea by the gallon.  Cold and crisp.

Mammographic proof of healthy breasts.  And 364 days of smoosh-free existence.  I am never quite ready for my close-up.

Watching my friend at her father’s funeral this week, I was reminded of my mom’s funeral a few years ago.  My kids surrounded me with both physical and emotional support.  It is one of my earliest memories of them all three as adults, roles reversed with them caring for me.  The pride and affection of the memory is still as strong as it was in the moment; I am tremendously grateful for these three people who make life pretty much as good as it gets.

~~~~~~~~

The entry above was written several summers ago.  I happened across it today as I was deleting some old files from my computer, and it was a timely reminder of how much of what is really good in life remains the same from year to year.  As another week comes to an end I remain thankful for all that gives refreshment, for the love of family, the company of friends,  the innocence of childhood, the written word, and fathers.  This week I am especially thankful that I never had to face the possibility of someone beyond my control separating me from my children; and though it has been far too long in coming I am grateful that faith leaders are raising their voices to say that our government doing this to families is morally and spiritually wrong.

Ten Things of Thankful

Sending Out a Ripple

Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

Excerpt from Bobby Kennedy's Ripples of Hope speech

One of my earliest memories outside things that happened to me personally is the assassination of Bobby Kennedy.  The images of him first at the podium and later on the floor live in the recesses of my brain.  They launched for me an awareness of the nightly news and a world in turmoil beyond my front door.  From that time on I have been an obsessive news watcher.  This news story was my gateway drug to a lifelong habit of consuming far more news than is probably healthy.  Current events leave me weary.  Hearing snippets of Bobby Kennedy's encouraging and wise words this past week lifted my spirits and restored my hope.

Ripples of hope that make me thankful...
The vegetables currently growing in my garden
The flowers that fill the yard
The light of long days
The chance to relax and restore the soul
My son who is a good man and is spending his "year off" working at a residential treatment center for troubled adolescents
My daughter who is a gifted teacher
My daughter who improves people's health and self-esteem by caring for their smiles
My husband who is faithfully by my side
American history which reminds us we have been through turbulent times before and emerged battered, but not broken

Ten Things of Thankful

Make Lemonade TToT

Life has been crazy lately.  Too many things to get done in too little time.  Spring refused to spring for far too long. A couple weekends ago though we didn't really have the time or energy, we slipped away to view Tulips at Twilight at the local botanical gardens.  Many of the tulips had refused to bloom due to unseasonably cold weather, so the parks people sprinkled light displays throughout the garden instead--a visible example of the philosophy that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.  The result soothed my soul.

Ten Things of Thankful

Beauty

People willing to work to improve life for us all

Truth

Community

Gardens

Actual spring finally arriving

Respite

Light

Vision

Love

TToT: European Sensibilities

Last night I attended the annual Holocaust Remembrance Service at our local temple. Afterwards, I went through old photographs I took during our visit to Dachau Concentration Camp in Germany.  I also ran across this Ten Things of Thankful post I wrote shortly after that visit and decided it was worth a second look.

Ten things the Europeans reminded me for which I am grateful…

SUVs and huge club-cab vehicles are a choice, not a necessity.

Water should be preserved.

(Run off from the mountain is captured in Salzburg, Austria.)

A person should walk—for his or her own good as well as the planet’s.

Beauty all around us improves life.

(Konstanz, Germany)

You make yourself rich, by keeping your needs few. (Apologies to Thoreau who said this better.)

             (Sweet little home amid multi-storied buildings in Lindau, Germany)

Honor those who have gone before you.

(Every grave we saw in Germany and Austria was immaculately kept no matter its age.)

Laugh much.

          (Top of a carousel at the Christmas market in Friedrichshaffen, Germany)

Celebrate what you have.

       (Scene on the famed Glockenspiel of Munich depicting a dance celebrating the     survival of those who made it through a dread disease that devastated the city.)

Do not let the past define you.

(Dachau, Germany Concentration Camp)

Make your faith known.

(Church in Liechtenstein)

Prayer from last night's memorial service...

Fully Compassionate God on high:

To our six million brothers and sisters murdered because they were Jews,

grant clear and certain rest with You

in the lofty heights of the sacred and pure

whose brightness shines like the very glow of heaven.

Source of mercy:

Forever enfold them in the embrace of Your wings;

secure their souls in eternity.

Adonai: they are Yours.  They will rest in peace.

Amen

TToT

Love vs Hate: TToT

The world becomes much easier to understand and much less terrifying if you divide everything and everyone into friends and enemies,  we and they, good and evil.  The easiest way to unite a group isn't through love, because love is hard.  It makes demands.  Hate is simple.  
                              Fredrik Backman Bear Town

The world is filled with so much hate these days.  Battle lines are drawn, sides taken on so many issues each and every day.  We have a tendency to approach the world with our heart set on war.  A heart at war sees others not as people, but as objects to either overcome or to use.  My own heart has been veering more towards hate than I want it to of late.  So, I spent the week looking for signs of love.  Love is hard, but it is very much worthwhile.

Ten Signs of Love/Things of Thankful

As the week began my husband and I were wrapping up a road trip from NC to KS.  I enjoyed every minute of our time together.

We added an unexpected detour and stopped at my sister-in-law's for a wonderful bonus visit.

When I spent a day in bed feeling puny, my son brought me a chocolate shake and TLC.

No cost dental care was provided several of our students at school this week.

Our pastor sent us into the week with the challenge to recognize a heart of love vs a heart of hate and to foster the heart of love.

The presentation of Bibles from my church to the 3rd Grade Sunday School class.

A spontaneous family movie and dinner night that brought me joy.

Friends who selflessly cared for their beloved family dog and ultimately recognized when the time came to let her go.

The peaceful demonstrations and calls for change led by young Americans last weekend.
Good Friday

Ten Things of Thankful

TToT: School Social Work Week

It was School Social Work Week.

My co-workers and my school kids showered me with love every day.  I was incredibly touched.  Several co-workers independent of one another chose cards, mementos and treats all in hues of yellow, a color I don't wear or use in decorating. Looking into how color and personality are related, I discovered that yellow is associated with perfectionists who think big and dream of how things could be. I'm good with that.

TToT

My colleagues

My school kids

Their families

Meaningful work

Supportive administrators both at school and in the Social Work Department

The opportunity to dig in the dirt planting tomato seeds

Time spent with my own grown kids this week either face to face or over the phone

Living in the age 

when long distance calls are free

Bookstores

Yellow