If You Give a Mom a Baby

Too fun to resist--one of the Writer's Workshop prompts this week was to take the children's book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and change it to give a mom something of your choosing.  This was a favorite story of my children when they were small, and one of my favorites to read aloud. So, I offer the following in tribute to the original's author, Laura Joffe Numeroff.

If You Give a Mom a Baby

(Subtitled: The Story of How I Have Three Offspring Instead of Just One)

If you give a mom a baby, 

she's going to begin to sway.

When you give her the baby,

the baby doesn't need to be distraught 

for her to sway.

When she is finished swaying,

she's going to ask that baby a question.

She'll talk in words that end in Long E sounds

to make sure the baby understands her lingo.

When she says words like horsie and doggie,

she'll notice the baby begin to grin.

So, she'll use a voice three 

octaves higher than normal.

When she is finished babbling incoherently, 

she'll want to inhale a big breath of baby smell.

She'll press her nose to the baby's scalp 

and begin reeling.

She might get carried away 

and become light-headed.

She may even unsnap the Onsie

and blow on the baby's tummy.

When she is done,

the baby will probably want a nap.

She'll have to fix up a little spot for him 

with a blanket and a pillow.

He will snuggle in, make himself comfortable

and suck on an imaginary nipple in his dreams.

She'll probably have one hundred 

other things to do.

Still, she will stand on the same spot doing nothing more than watching him sleep

and occasionally, she will sigh.

Watching the sleeping baby

she will want one of her own.

She'll recall how quickly her own babies grew up.

She'll see a picture.

In the picture, she'll see only the best things

about life with a baby.

She'll want to see that picture come to life.

Which means she will need

just one more.

She will paint her picture 

for her unsuspecting husband.

Looking at his wife

will remind him of the last time they had this talk.

So...he'll ask for a little time to think about it.

And chances are, if he entertains the possibility 

long enough to think about it, 

pretty soon

he's going to find himself swaying 

with a newborn baby in his arms. 

March 11, 2015