Too fun to resist--one of the Writer's Workshop prompts this week was to take the children's book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and change it to give a mom something of your choosing. This was a favorite story of my children when they were small, and one of my favorites to read aloud. So, I offer the following in tribute to the original's author, Laura Joffe Numeroff.
If You Give a Mom a Baby
(Subtitled: The Story of How I Have Three Offspring Instead of Just One)
If you give a mom a baby,
she's going to begin to sway.
When you give her the baby,
the baby doesn't need to be distraught
for her to sway.
When she is finished swaying,
she's going to ask that baby a question.
She'll talk in words that end in Long E sounds
to make sure the baby understands her lingo.
When she says words like horsie and doggie,
she'll notice the baby begin to grin.
So, she'll use a voice three
octaves higher than normal.
When she is finished babbling incoherently,
she'll want to inhale a big breath of baby smell.
She'll press her nose to the baby's scalp
and begin reeling.
She might get carried away
and become light-headed.
She may even unsnap the Onsie
and blow on the baby's tummy.
When she is done,
the baby will probably want a nap.
She'll have to fix up a little spot for him
with a blanket and a pillow.
He will snuggle in, make himself comfortable
and suck on an imaginary nipple in his dreams.
She'll probably have one hundred
other things to do.
Still, she will stand on the same spot doing nothing more than watching him sleep
and occasionally, she will sigh.
Watching the sleeping baby
she will want one of her own.
She'll recall how quickly her own babies grew up.
She'll see a picture.
In the picture, she'll see only the best things
about life with a baby.
She'll want to see that picture come to life.
Which means she will need
just one more.
She will paint her picture
for her unsuspecting husband.
Looking at his wife
will remind him of the last time they had this talk.
So...he'll ask for a little time to think about it.
And chances are, if he entertains the possibility
long enough to think about it,
he's going to find himself swaying
with a newborn baby in his arms.
March 11, 2015
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