Tuesday, October 17, 2017

When You're a Mother...

When you’re a mother…
It is not easy to trust that someone else could care for your child’s life the way that you do.
It is not easy to let them take their first tentative steps out into a world you know to be dangerous and unpredictable.
It is not easy when those steps into the word are not their first and are no longer approached tentatively.
Its not easy to sit back and watch your children take a path that life experience tells you is a dead end road.
It is not easy to not lambast someone who uses your child as a doormat, even if it was your child who printed the word “welcome” upon that mat.
It is not easy to keep your mouth shut even when you know you should.
It is not easy to watch your child try on roles that do not suit the person you know him or her to be, though you know it is in trying on roles, discarding some, and embracing others that your child will define who (s)he is and will become.
It is not easy to refrain from prodding and allow your child to tackle situations in his or her own good time even though you know the world’s time does not mesh.
It is not easy to allow your child to put themselves in situations that cause them pain even though you know it was through difficulty that you yourself learned best.
When you are a mother, it is just plain not easy; but then again, the most worthwhile things never are.

Originally written January 25, 2013.  Shared today in honor of my second-born's 25th birthday.  Nothing in my life has given me greater challenges or deeper joys than being a mother.


  1. Oh, May. So much of this resonates for me. This stage of parenting is so challenging for me. I remember crying a bit as I left them at kindergarten the first time, knowing that my ability to know and protect was shifting, lessening. You have captured so well here how I feel all the time now. My daughter can see all the parts of mothering that have been hard, but she doesn't yet know what you share in your concluding sentence. I hope that some day she does.

    1. I am looking for encouraging words of wisdom to write here. Instead I think I have sighed three times! It really is true that they learn best when allowed to "live and learn". It is so hard to stand back and allow them to do it though. I always try to remind myself that I am struggling because I know the risks, the pain, the consequences that can happen. And how do I know? Because I was blessed with parents who were wise enough to let me live and learn. But, boy, do I still struggle to put that knowledge into practice.


Penny for your thoughts.