tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7330030209576515508.post5239907123220498421..comments2023-09-28T07:15:13.372-05:00Comments on Achieving Clarity: Missing Pieces of MotherMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03485338098212307793noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7330030209576515508.post-91557557899194062222016-08-05T13:39:04.509-05:002016-08-05T13:39:04.509-05:00My mom would have been from that same era as your ...My mom would have been from that same era as your grandmothers. They played it pretty close to the vest, those ladies.Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03485338098212307793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7330030209576515508.post-28581835577385013812016-08-05T06:56:00.316-05:002016-08-05T06:56:00.316-05:00I feel about my grandmothers the way you describe ...I feel about my grandmothers the way you describe feeling here. There is so much I wish I knew, and now it's too late. I did get bits and pieces, but I think they were of a generation where you just didn't talk about a lot of things. So, I knew when I had the chance that I'd like to ask, but I didn't feel able to. They wouldn't have wanted to. They were both young during the Depression, and then WWII. One had a physically abusive, alcoholic father and she was the oldest of 7 children. (She cared very much about being proper, too.) The other was the oldest of 5, and there was definitely dysfunction in her family, too. I think both preferred to focus on the here-and-now. I'm glad, though, that my relationship with my own mother is much more open. It's a real gift. Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13551793959655853424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7330030209576515508.post-45501738919702909912016-08-02T00:30:26.592-05:002016-08-02T00:30:26.592-05:00Absolutely true! Once when I was staying with Mom...Absolutely true! Once when I was staying with Mom during the last year of her life I did pull out a notebook and begin to write the stories she had started to tell. About halfway through one story I began to realize the story she was telling about my dad was really about my grandfather. It was the very first sign I had that her memory was failing. Realizing that truly stunned me. I was shocked and oh, so sad. Why had I not tried earlier?!Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03485338098212307793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7330030209576515508.post-85934446432620432332016-07-31T16:25:05.550-05:002016-07-31T16:25:05.550-05:00You touched on my only regret during the time I ca...You touched on my only regret during the time I cared for my elderly mother at my home. I wish I had probed for more details on her life, particularly her childhood. I knew quite a bit, but now that she is gone, that chance for more information is gone. When my friends are facing the loss of their parents now, I remind them to do this, advising that the long talks will bring them comfort in the sad, lonely hours that lie ahead. Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07359404486512786477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7330030209576515508.post-76055344090906964952016-07-29T14:09:37.462-05:002016-07-29T14:09:37.462-05:00I recognize that I had much, much better parents t...I recognize that I had much, much better parents than my eldest sister did. To their credit they learned through their mistakes. Unfortunately for her, she was their initial effort where they made those mistakes. She describes her feelings much as you just did. I was blessed with a better mother, and my children-wow!-they were lavished with the love of a phenomenal grandmother. Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03485338098212307793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7330030209576515508.post-62877231407921867792016-07-29T13:57:53.056-05:002016-07-29T13:57:53.056-05:00That quote is, indeed, poignant. And probably true...That quote is, indeed, poignant. And probably true of us all. So often, the things close to us are overlooked, while appreciated from others afar. My mother is still alive and she and I have had a somewhat distant relationship. Like, I love her and honor her because she's my mother but I don't feel particularly close to her, like my sisters do. And yet, my youngest daughter adores her and she, my daughter. I'm really grateful for that and peacefully rock in the puzzle of generational links. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846671491951240837noreply@blogger.com